From time to time, I look over this blog, clicking on recent posts, glancing over my pages — just to attempt to gain an idea of how the mood of this blog seems to my readers.
Only kidding: it’s to up the viewing numbers, that’s all.
Sometimes, I feel like this blog — this lil ol’ blog o’ mine — becomes a bit … heavy? A bit too unfunny, for my liking anyways. Maybe you all like that: seriousness (is that a word?) has its place, and it definitely has its place in me. But so do other things…
LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO — TAYLOR SWIFT
WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. GOING. ON?
Taylor, chill out — what point are you trying to prove to your adoring fanbase + other present humans? In more basic terms, what is going on? You OK hon?
We’ll take this one step at a time, shall we?
Title: Could’ve made it a LITTLE bit more catchy, swifty — also, “Look What You Made Me Do” is 24 characters in length, “LookWhatYouMadeMeDo” is 19, and “#LookWhatYouMadeMeDo” is 20 — in short, it’s … well, not that. Maybe Swifty was anticipating some slightly-less-than-adoring-feedback from Earth, and opted to craft the longest song title in history, in order to minimise the number of useful tweeting characters for us to use, to express our feelings.
Crafty, Swift — very crafty, but I see right through you (despite not seeing 2 inches in front of my face, ’cause blind). I guess, on second thoughts, that makes you kinda uncrafty…
Opening: Why are we using violins, Taylor? This isn’t a funeral, is it? It really doesn’t go with the electro-pop drumbeat that follows it almost immediately. Honestly, Taylor…
In the lyric breakdown, my comments are inserted, enclosed in square brackets. I feel that they are very insightful, so read them, OK?
I don’t like your little games [hopscotch?]
Don’t like your tilted stage [Oooh, you could slip on a titlted stage — careful!]
The role you made me play [Jealous of ex-boyfriend Harry Styles, getting a movie role, are we?]
Of the fool, no, I don’t like you [* is reminded of primary school threats: “I don’t like you — you’re not coming to my party!” *]
I don’t like your perfect crime [A perfect crime would tend to refer to a crime that went uncaught — so how do you know about it? Anything to hand in to the po-po, Taylor?]
How you laugh when you lie [You laughed in your 2012 Red song ‘Stay Stay Stay’, when referring to your partner-at-the-time opting to “carry my groceries” … a lie, was it?]
You said the gun was mine [BAN GUNS BAN GUNS BAN BAN BAN]
Isn’t cool, no, I don’t like you (oh!) [* is repeatedly reminded of primary school threats]
But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time [You got harder? Need I say more…]
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time [GUYS I FOUND JESUS!! SHE’S HERE — YAAAAAS]
I’ve got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined [Taylor, presuming you have an iPhone, bc your famous. If this person’s name is “in red, underlined”, that can only mean you misspelt it. Soz, love]
I check it once, then I check it twice, oh! [How did you not notice your spelling mistake, then deary?]
Ooh, look what you made me do [What did you do?]
Look what you made me do [Political correctness, darlin’, means you can’t say that — you’ve offended blind people like myself]
Look what you just made me do [Adding words is very intelligent, but which word class is ‘just’?]
Look what you just made me [… did the computer die half way through this line or something? Should have had autosave on — lifesaver, I tell you Taylor]
Ooh, look what you made me do [What’s that then?]
Look what you made me do [Sing?]
Look what you just made me do [Sing again?]
Look what you just made me do [Congrats for finishing the line — you need to insert the last word of this line into the line-with-a-missing-word above]
I don’t like your kingdom keys [I know — aren’t keys annoying, taylor? I can never get mine into the front door with a dog-leed in one hand, my phone in the other and my keys in between my teeth]
They once belonged to me [OMG, was my house previously owned by TayTay herself? Bragging rights right there]
You asked me for a place to sleep [If you’ve got the spare bedroom, I’ll bring the blow-up matrice: deal?]
Locked me out and threw a feast (what?) [Locked out of your own house? Why’d you hand over your keys, idiot? Also, what a nerve — to use your kitchen! Hope you shop at Aldi: that way, you won’t have lost to much money … #MoneySavingTips]
The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama [I know right! Today, North Korea. Tomorrow, North Korea. Then, North Kor …]
But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma [a.. And North Korea?]
And then the world moves on, but one thing’s for sure [You’re singing about an ex?]
Maybe I got mine, but you’ll all get yours [My what? Puding? I love pudding…]
I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me [Have you considered Alcoholics Anonymous meetings? I find attendees are usually pretty smashed, and will talk through your trust issues with you]
I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams [Wow … See you at the premiere! I’ll bring the drinks, you bring the popcorn]
I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me [AA meetings are fairly frequent…]
I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams [When’s filming begin?]
I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me [If you have to take a test to get into the meetings, just drink a bottle of vodka on the bus journey in]
I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams [Make sure your sober beforehand though]
I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me [That’s probably the side-effect of the bottle of vodka: trust issues]
I’ll be the actress starring inT your bad dreams [Let me know when it’s release day, OK? Wouldn’t want to miss the movie now]
(Look what you made me do) [You signed up for acting in my bad dreams, so don’t go blaming me honey]
(Look what you made me do) [Oh, is this still about the bottle of vodka?]
(Look what you just made me do) [I only encouraged you!]
(Look what you made me do) [Alright, alright, i’m sorry, OK???]
“I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now.” [AA meetings banning phones these days? Probably a good thing — no one needs a drunk tweeter]
“Why?” [Was my theory wrong?]
“Oh, ’cause she’s dead!” (ohh!) [OMG VODKA KILLED SWIFT TELL THE WORLD IT WASN’T ME IT WAS A PERFECT CRIME ARGHHH]
So, um, there we go: taylor Swift’s latest song, broken down and analysed by the world’s favourite — me, L! I hope you enjoyed this post: I certainly enjoyed writing it!! Hopefully you’re not scarred for life — soz if you can’t listen to that song in the same way any more…
I have a favour to ask you, if you’re feeling kind enough to ablige:
Would You Be So Kind (Dodie reference right there) to share this post, using the following link (if you think it’s worth sharing, that is)?
Click Here to Share
I’m experimenting with this sharing method: this link should write a tweet out for you, so all you have to do is clikc ‘Tweet’…
Love you all — almost as much as I love that Taylor Swift song … what’s it called again? 😉