I say it at the beginning of almost every post like this, so it’d seem a shame not to write it here, don’t you think?
I enjoy writing these life update posts, because it gives me an opportunity to vent some of my frustrations, talk about the good stuff, and be myself. I suppose, actually, it gives you guys a more accurate representation of me as a person, just being me and talking about my life. Anyway, that’s what I’m going to do today: a life update post.
School is a bit of a problem right now: I had a meeting last week, in which I broke the news to my school that in September 2018, I plan to leave school for college, rather than stay for sixth form. Things have been a little awkward since then, as i’m sure you can imagine; a lot of the staff who work with me (as a blind student) at school have taken it all just a little bit too personally, but that’s OK. Putting myself in their shoes, I guess it does seem a bit like I’m saying: “Guys, you’re doing a shit job, so I’m leaving”. in reality, that’s not at all what I’m saying; I just feel that college is a better option for me, but all the same, their response makes sense, and is understandable, even if it’s not reasonable.
Now that college seems like a reality, everything seems a little bit more real — this is actually happening. Next September, in less than 18 months time, I will be leaving home for a city over 100 mi from home, over 100 mi from everything and everyone I know. I know that it should be scary, and I’m sure that it will become scary nearer the time, but for now, it’s exciting — exhilarating, even. After all, it’s a fresh start, a chance to try again, to reinvent myself as a person. I genuinely believe that this will give me the confidence boost I need: there won’t be anyone at college to say: “that’s not like you”; I can just start over, and be the person I want to be. Wow — I’m grinning at the thought.
Recently, I’ve gained a lot of confidence in my local area — I don’t really know why. I’ve started going out to town a lot more frequently, and exploring the bus routes around my town. I honestly used to be too scared to do that; I thought I’d get lost, or end up in an area of town that I don’t know. Now, though, I’ve kind of gone for the mindset of whatever will be will be; if I don’t know the area, stay on the bus and it’ll get back to where I got on it, at some point. I’ve really enjoyed the freedom and the spontaneity of it all — it’s great!
Today, at school, I found out something really exciting for me. Often, I say i’m rubbish at all sorts of things, although rubbish is probably too strong a word; I’m not outstanding at any school subject, but I am definitely stronger at some than others. science, however, is genuinely one area of academia which I simply cannot understand — my brain just doesn’t work in a scientificly-optimal way. Chemistry confuses me, and gets me a huge muddle; biology’s confusing terminology always comes out in the wrong order in tests, getting me so perplexed; physics is the best of the three, but is by no means good — at least it’s mathematical, and I do well in tests usually. Regardless, that’s not a great combination of subjects, and overall it’s my weakest area in school.
There was an email sent out to (I presumed) the whole of my year, inviting us on a trip to London. The trip is to go to a London theatre, to watch some leading scientists speak about their specialist topics for a day next week. Despite being bad at science, I do find it incredibly interesting, and so I immediately signed up and payed the trip fee; it was said that last year, all places on the trip were taken within 36 hours, so I wasted no time in getting my name on that list. So, I’m going — exciting stuff!
But then, I found out something else: that invitation was only sent out to the top 40 science students in our year. I AM IN THE TOP 40 SCIENCE STUDENTS IN THE YEAR! I am so thrilled about this: our year is made up of close to 200 students, so to be in the top 20% is an incredible achievement for me. I’m especially happy, as over the last two years, I’ve been teaching myself the chemistry syllabus due to (quite frankly) awful teaching in chemistry, as well as a very disruptive class and a whole host of chemistry-teacher illnesses. It’s almost a relief, knowing that I’m doing OK, and that my achievement and effort in science are not going unrecognised.
Finally, I just want to finish by gushing over some of the new music that has come out recently, which I love.
Lorde’s new song, Green Light, came out today, and I LOVE IT. I’ve loved Lorde sver since I first heard Royals back in 2013, and I’ve been waiting for new music from her basically since the day after Pure Heroine was released: I still love that album. I haven’t been on Twitter much lately, and so the song literally came as a complete surprise to me;I first saw it in my YouTube suggested videos, 36 minutes after its release, and I only saw it purely because I was scrolling through those videos, putting off work. If you haven’t heard the song, you can listen to it here.
There is also new music from the EDM DJ Zedd, which wouldn’t usually interest me too much, but if features one of my favourite (with a ‘u’ because i’m British OK?) artists, Alessia Cara. She is great on the track, and I sincerely hope that this is a sign that she’ll be releasing new music sometime in the near future. I also hope that she releases an acoustic version of the track — I think that’d be brilliant! Again, if you haven’t heard it, you can check it out here.
Anyways, that’s it from yours truly (ME!); I hope you enjoyed this post. I might put up a playlist of my favourite tracks at the moment soon, as there are loads that I’m loving right now — would you guys be interested in that?