It’s difficult to come up with unique and gripping post-starters; I thought I may as well use that as a post-starter, however shitty it is, for this post. It is though, no?
I realised something today — gosh, L: aren’t you a clever lil llama? No, listen to me though — legit, I actually did some, uh, what’s it called? … Ah yes, thinking. I did some thinking.
Someone asked me today: “What do you do when you get home? Like, not ‘what’s your hobby’, but like what do you DO?”
A fucking good question, in my opinion, because the truth is … I don’t know. Thinking further, I came up with the following answer: I work. I get up in the mornings, I work; I go to school, I work; I get hoe, I work; I go to bed. My life is actually dominated by school work, and maybe that explains it.
I’ve been kinda down recently. I’ve really struggled to stay positive, and it’s been difficult to be at all creative or even happy, because the stress of school just makes me want to put my head in a textbook, and emerge in 18 months time, to take … another test! I’ve haven’t laughed as much as I usually do — maybe even less than is healthy. My life has just been turned into some work-obsessed cycle which I cannot break. Who do I blame? School, of course, for they are the ones telling us over and over again to stop our social lives, and focus on school work. You know what, though? That isn’t healthy, at all.
FFS L: you need to chill. I decided, therefore, that it was time for a change — nothing too dramatic, but a change all the same.
Tonight, I’ve had a night off. I opted to purposefully do no school work, to get into my pyjamas and just have an evening doing the things I want to do: not because I feel pressured into doing them due to deadlines, but because I want to do them. And, guess what? It’s been bloody brilliant, I swear. I’ve danced around to songs from musicals in my pyjamas for most of the evening, singing (badly) at the top of my lungs, and acting out all the scenes in some kind of one-man play performance. Then, I got childishly excited over the snow falling here in London, ate jacket potatoes and then sat in my room to write this post. I can’t honestly remember being so happy on a school night for such a long time: finally, I feel good — like, truly good, and healthy, and happy. For once, I’m not stressing over school because I’ve just blocked it out of my whole mind for an evening; whenever a rebel thought sneaks into my mind, I just start screeching “YOU CAN’T STOP THE BEAT!”
No one can stop me having fun, and being happy. No one can stop me from having one night off to just chill, and get back to my old self; school don’t own me, and your school doesn’t own you, either. If you feel stressed beyond belief, anxious or ridiculously overloaded, try your best to take an evening — or even just a couple of hours — to do the things you want to do. GO crazy for a bit: I did, and it is probably the best thing I could have done.