The Deprivation of Happiness

It’s difficult to come up with unique and gripping post-starters; I thought I may as well use that as a post-starter, however shitty it is, for this post. It is though, no?
… NO???
It is…

I realised something today — gosh, L: aren’t you a clever lil llama? No, listen to me though — legit, I actually did some, uh, what’s it called? … Ah yes, thinking. I did some thinking.
Someone asked me today: “What do you do when you get home? Like, not ‘what’s your hobby’, but like what do you DO?”
A fucking good question, in my opinion, because the truth is … I don’t know. Thinking further, I came up with the following answer: I work. I get up in the mornings, I work; I go to school, I work; I get hoe, I work; I go to bed. My life is actually dominated by school work, and maybe that explains it.

I’ve been kinda down recently. I’ve really struggled to stay positive, and it’s been difficult to be at all creative or even happy, because the stress of school just makes me want to put my head in a textbook, and emerge in 18 months time, to take … another test! I’ve haven’t laughed as much as I usually do — maybe even less than is healthy. My life has just been turned into some work-obsessed cycle which I cannot break. Who do I blame? School, of course, for they are the ones telling us over and over again to stop our social lives, and focus on school work. You know what, though? That isn’t healthy, at all.

FFS L: you need to chill. I decided, therefore, that it was time for a change — nothing too dramatic, but a change all the same.
Tonight, I’ve had a night off. I opted to purposefully do no school work, to get into my pyjamas and just have an evening doing the things I want to do: not because I feel pressured into doing them due to deadlines, but because I want to do them. And, guess what? It’s been bloody brilliant, I swear. I’ve danced around to songs from musicals in my pyjamas for most of the evening, singing (badly) at the top of my lungs, and acting out all the scenes in some kind of one-man play performance. Then, I got childishly excited over the snow falling here in London, ate jacket potatoes and then sat in my room to write this post. I can’t honestly remember being so happy on a school night for such a long time: finally, I feel good — like, truly good, and healthy, and happy. For once, I’m not stressing over school because I’ve just blocked it out of my whole mind for an evening; whenever a rebel thought sneaks into my mind, I just start screeching “YOU CAN’T STOP THE BEAT!”

No one can stop me having fun, and being happy. No one can stop me from having one night off to just chill, and get back to my old self; school don’t own me, and your school doesn’t own you, either. If you feel stressed beyond belief, anxious or ridiculously overloaded, try your best to take an evening — or even just a couple of hours — to do the things you want to do. GO crazy for a bit: I did, and it is probably the best thing I could have done.

L XX

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20 thoughts on “The Deprivation of Happiness

  1. Very sorry you’ve been feeling down 😦 it’s that time in the school year where we don’t remember the beginning and can’t yet see the light at the end. But I’ve been doing school years for approximately two decades and the end does always eventually arrive.

    On another note…the fuck is a jacket potato??

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a great post ! I can picture you dancing and singing so do more of it ! I hate to tell you this but back in the Dark Ages when I was at school I swotted like mad and ended up with all sorts of A’s and O’s and guess what —– not a single person at any job interview I went to asked what exams I had passed. I just chatted my way in to a job and wore a shorter skirt !!! And now because we have just had about 4 snowflakes, I’m off out for a walk ! Life will work out so keep singing and dancing !!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww things were so different, even just 10 years ago; the unemployment rate was so much lower. I hope you enjoyed your walk, and thanks for the support X

      Like

  3. I should definitely do this whenever I have a stressful period at school (which is like all the time so is that an excuse to do what I WANT to do all the time? hmmm maybe I’ll bring that up to my teachers hahaha). Your down mood won’t last forever – keep doing those small things that make you happy and smile and laugh and feel positive and soon you’ll see the end!

    Also, what is a jacket potato? Because I’m literally imagining a potato wearing a jacket, or a potato with its skin cut like a jacket so πŸ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Suggest it! It’s so important to look after our mental health.
      I forgot that jacket potatoes were a British thing, although potatoes in coats sounds unexplainablly cute. You may know them as baked potatoes?

      Liked by 1 person

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