Too Soon to Hope?

Just a quick message from moi, before I start this post:
A] I mentioned in a recent
post
that I was trying to put together a series of posts regarding blogging, considering that each and every one of you – of us – are connected by a passion for blogging, whether it be reading them or writing one yourself. Well, I am so pleased to announce that some amazing people [i.e you] have been in touch, sent me posts, and have therefore enabled me to start this series!
The first post will be published on Friday [1st july], and will then proceed to be posted on Friday each week. Having read some of the submitted content, I’m really excited for this project, and can’t wait to let you guys see how talented some of these bloggers are! Don’t forget that it’s not too late to get involved: drop me a comment, email, tweet, Kik or Skype message and we can get you involved in the project!

B] The absolutely amazing
Elly from A Hufflepuff’s Thoughts
has set up a
poll
on Twitter, to decide [and I quote her here] whether I’m – yes, me – “fabulous” or not…
Of course, I wouldn’t wish to influence the vote, but you all freakin’ love me, right? And an ego-boost is always welcome, even though i’m strongly on the “Nah” campaign myself – modesty ‘n’ all.

Now, to main post…

I wouldn’t consider myself antisocial, as such. Sure, sometimes I have problems trying to get to know people who I’m unfamiliar with, or who I don’t immediately click with, but I’d say that that is, hopefully, fairly normal, especially amongst teenagers. I have a fair number of friends, most of whom would be there [and have been there] for me in a flash the minute I needed them, because they know full-well that I am always there for them, and will do absolutely everything within my power to help them out. These friends are the people whom I never say ‘goodbye’ to over text, because we both know that the conversation never ends: there are just inconvenient6h gaps whilst we’re both in school, and the minute we’re out, out come the phones and the chat goes on well into the evening, and sometimes creeping into the early hours.
To me, at least, this all sounds unbelievably brilliant – I, quite literally, couldn’t have asked for better. But, there’s just one thing: they all live absolutely nowhere near me. I’m not talking about, say, a bus ride away, or a half-an-hour train journey – I’m talking hundreds of miles, hours of travel and anything up to hundreds of pounds in expenses. Consequently, we very rarely meet up and actually see each other, and sorting out a meet up involving any more than two people is a logistical nightmare.

Many people think that having a friend should be taken at face alue: a friend is a friend, regardless of where they live, or how often you see them. Of course, this understanding has only come to be due to the rise of the smartphone, allowing us to keep in touch in so many ways with such ease. My friends and I can quickly and easily share videos, screenshots, photos, texts, spoken words, emojis, our locations and so much more with just a few simple taps and, of course, a smartphone. Being a part of the generation who has grown up with nothing different – mobiles were ‘a thing’ when I was born, and were even more of ‘a thing’ when I got one.In theory, then, I shouldn’t be the one promoting the idea of face-to-face communication; I am meant to believe that technology can fill the void that was face-to-face contact. But no, I don’t agre with that: seeing people in real life can never be replaced by technology – even with face-to-face calling through video chatting platforms.
Not seeing your friends in such a long time, therefore, can really start to play with your emotions. Suddenly – unexplainably -, you feel isolated, lonely and separated, because people aren’t inviting you into town, or popping round after school, or coming to your house at weekends. It almost feels like it shouldn’t screw me up, but it does, and I suppose it’s rational, really.

Recently, I’ve been becoming more confident, in my own opinion. At school, I’ve been breaking rules regarding being monitored by an adult [because I’m blind and therefore ‘vulnerable’] at all times; I’ve been more outgoing in lessons – well, small steps -, but most importantly, I’ve made more friends. I’ve always been of the opinion that I’m not a particularly likeable person: there’s just nothing about me that really jumps out and says: “LOOK, THIS IS WHY I’M WORTH YOUR FRIENDSHIP”. Even now, I can’t see things about me that others say are true – I just be myself, and that’s the best I can do, because I strongly disapprove of people who aren’t themselves.

All of a sudden, I seem to have friends at school, and in my local area. The thought of it is actually making me shake my head in disbelief – I’m just not used to haveng people geographically close to me who I can consider fs friends. It’s mental, for me, because finally, I feel like I’m beginning to fit in.

Is it too soon for that? Maybe I’ve got to wait a while before I can say that I’m fitting in, but it’s the feeling that counts. I had one of my ‘moments’ in front of a friend: I just burst into tears because of the
flooding in my home
and they didn’t run off,and abandon me. They stayed, and helped me out, and talked to me and told me it would be alright, and did all the things that friends do. You know – the hand on shoulder whilst your friend is having an emotional break down really does work. That feeling – to know that somene cares – was so amazing; I can’t believe it.
Maybe I’m going a little over the top here, but finally not being the outsider is sinking in, and it’s such a change. And I like it, sort of.
Of course, I am not just going to abandon my other friends – no way in hell. They’ve stuck by me through thick and thin – very, very thin -, and I them, and that will never change if I have any say in the matter.

But, maybe, something new is around the corner – something different and exciting, with new people and a new social standing.
… To new beginnings

L XX

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9 thoughts on “Too Soon to Hope?

  1. Oooh, I’m SO taking that poll…
    You know, it’s not that you ‘seem’ to have friends at school and in your local area; you DO have friends at school and your local area. Be confident about that fact and you’ll learn to believe in yourself. Because people wouldn’t want to associate with someone they don’t like, right? People do care about you and actually DO want to befriend you. I know so. Who wouldn’t, really?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Aww, L, I’m so proud! But of course people would want to be friends with you; I personally can’t see why anyone WOULDN’T! (Also ayyyy cheeky mention there mate)

    Like

  3. People want to be friends with you L! I personally want to meet you in person, befriend you and chat till the day ends. I don’t why they don’t to be friends with an amazing guy!

    Like

  4. I feel like we probably have fairly similar thoughts with the whole ‘friendship’ thing, because I’m always paranoid that everyone secretly hates me… HOWEVER, over the internet, you seem like an awesome person, so I don’t see why you wouldn’t face to face! YAY FOR FRIENDSHIP!

    P.S. Your about page made me laugh, and I couldn’t find a comment section there so I thought I’d say that here πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww that’s so sweet of you to say! Loving the coninsidental both-of-us-reading-each-other’s-blogs by the way!!! And you seem like a lovely person too πŸ™‚
      I’m so glad my About page made you laugh; I like to think I’m funny, but very few others agree with me β€” I just can’t see why πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

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