Damn It, i’m Wearing Heels

Society today dictates a lot of expectations and rules relating to gender, and sometimes even age. Women and girls wear make-up, high heels and worry about their hair, whilst men and boys wear jeans and trainers, and will never be caught in any shoes that are not flat: that’s just ‘the way’, and we don’t argue with that.
Unless you’re like me…

In some ways, society contradicts itself.
Women and girls wear make-up, and boys don’t… But it’s OK if boys do!
Boys and men wear jeans and t-shirts… But it’s OK if girls do!
What a load of crap. All that this tells me is that we, as a society, are firmly stuck in a timewarp. We’re trapped in an age where everyone’s accepted, but everyone’s judged, unless they are the walking, talking representation of social standards.

Why can’t I, as a boy, wear make-up and high heels without immediately being labelled a tomgirl, or transgender? No word of a lie, I quite like the idea of wearing make-up and high heels, of worrying about my appearance, of wanting to create the perfect selfie. So why is it, as a male of the species, I’m not allowed to do that? Why does one thing – my sex -, which is decided without any consultation on my part, define so many dos and don’ts in my life? If I walked out of my house today, wearing 3 inch heels, lipstick and holding a selfie-stick, there is no-one alive today who could say with 100% certainty that I wouldn’t be judged by the people around me, for the simple reason that I would, whether it be aloud or silently. [Unfortuantely] I go to an all-boys school, and there are actually school rules in place, banning the use of make-up on any boy in school uniform, on or off of the school site.

I understand that some girls and women will feel similarly: they want to wear ‘boys clothes’, and do ‘boy things’, but by doing so, they’re instantly labelled a tomboy. This is ridiculously old-fashioned, in my opinion: the world has supposedly moed on, and yet the very people who tell us that are so stuck in their inappropriate traditions, they are telling us nothing but lies. the ones who are teaching us that the world has moved on, ahat we live in a better place than our parents did at our age are the people who are holding us back, who are doing the damage.

Even blogging, as an example, is a part of this. Several times, I’ve told someone that I blog [obviously not giving them the link]. At least three people’s reactions have been a moment’s silence before: “Isn’t that a girl thing?”
Let me get this straight: ire there people out there telling me that because, quite frankly, I have a higher amount of testosterone, I can’t decide to write a blog online?
simply, are there people out there who think that writing – plain and simple writing – is a ‘girl thing’?
Yes. Yes, there are.
Continuing with the blog analogy, what difference does it make? To you, dear reader, what diference does it make if I’m male or female? Am I less valid as a male blogger, or is that just another of society’s lies?

I realise that I’m coming across as quite angry and frustrated in this post, and that is because I am both angry and very frustrated. This whole thing is unfiar, unjust and wrong. Why on Earth can’t people understand that? Sure, maybe I’ve absolutely lost my mind, and maybe you strongly disagree with me. that’s fair enough, but why does that mean that you hae to stop me from living my lie the way I want to live it? If you saw a teenage boy in the stret wearing make-up, you would likely stare, and if not at least take a few moments to think about the ‘strange’ sight before you. But, consider this: is he hurting you as an individual or as a member of society?
No, of course not.
So what’s the issue?

My final gripe here is related to music. Many – oh, so many people have commented on my music taste. Common adjectival phrases include ‘girly’, ‘feminine’, and ‘abnormal’. some readers will know of my rather strong hatred of the word ‘normal’, and that hatred is also directed at the word ‘abnormal’.
In regards to the prior two descriptions, I ask this: what is the issue? Oh yeah, I forgot, liking Taylor swift, Ariana Grande and music from the High school Musical soundtrack is illegal. Sorry, my mistake…
I really can’t see the issue here at all. I don’t understand why artists are suddenly gender specific, and liking the wrong one immediately makes you the subject of whispered discussion – sorry, ‘banter’ -, and the object at which people unashamedly point and stare.

Is there logic here? If you ask me, no, there isn’t, and yet these well-out-of-date stereotypes continue to live on un esisted and unchallenged. Well, here I am, publically challenging them. I feel they’re old fashioned, unnecessary and unworthy of a place in modern-day society. Society should have moved on by now, but it hasn’t, and this is why.

i’d love to hear your thoughts on this post. It’s taknn me several hours to first translate my thoughts into words, place those words into sentences, use those sentences to build paragraphs, and then to edit, arrange and create this post. It’s taken quite a lot of condidence to even post this; I am fairly positive that i’m going to receive some hate and negativity in response to this post, and that alone caused me to question whether I should be publishing this at all. However, this is my blig, and I, unsurprisingly, am me. Personally, I fee nothing wrong with writing how I feel, so long as iI’m clear in stating that I do not expect the rest of the world’s population to agree with me. I will also note for the record that I wrote, edited and proofread this post listening to all three of the artists [well, High school Musical isn’t really an artist but hey…] listed above in this post. I’ve got to admit, Dangerous Woman has really grown on me throughout the duration of this post’s creation!
As I stated above, I’m fully aware that some people will completely disagree with my views, and so long as you’re willing to discuss the topic civily, I have no issue with you leaving your own thoughts below. Regardless, I hope that you’ve enjoyed this post, and that’it’s both made you think and taught you a thing or tow, whether it be about society or me as an individual.

Lots of Love

L XXX

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37 thoughts on “Damn It, i’m Wearing Heels

  1. You’re right, L. Gender rolls are so annoying and should be gone. You want to wear heals, wear them. You want to wear makeup, honestly I’ll help you get that perfect winged eyeliner. You like what you want because you like it.
    (Also whoever said you can’t listen to high school musical I’ll shank them because honestly that’s a big part of a lot of teenagers lives inducing mine and it certainly isn’t girly or anything it’s an iconic movie worth watching and downloading all the soundtracks)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Precisely – thanks for your offer on help with the make-up! But on a serious note, why am I judged for liking something that is, obviously in my opinion, good? Where’s the crime in that?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You shouldn’t be ridiculed for liking something because some would say it’s ‘girly’ damn, you should be able to like what’re you like because you LIKE it. Who cares if people find you girly, it’s their loss honestly.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my gosh this is all so true! I was actually talking to a friend today and she was asking if I knew a girl. When I asked for a description she said, ” oh you know, the one who wears boy’s clothes.” But why is it that sports jerseys and basketball shorts are considered boys clothes?
    -Dani 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This stereotyping, to me, just seems so old fashioned. Life isn’t like that anymore: boys don’t just wear ‘boys clothes’, and girls wear ‘girls clothes’. I’m so gald that you liked and agreed with this post: I wasn’t sure if I was being a little extreme… X

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I hate this stupid stereotyping of boys doing “boyish” things and girls doing “girly” things. Wait. I dont wear tons of makeup, I dont wear heels (and wouldnt be caught dead wearing them), and I am not that girly. That doesnt make me an un-girl, right? And what does makeup and perfect selfies have to do with genders? For centuries boys and girls both have been wearing makeup, whether it be for theatres, or even interviews. All humans have the right of wanting to make themselves look better!
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. No no, they also wore it for serious roles, like kings, or soldiers, or even plain citizens, right? For example, think of the Shakespearan era? Now, the world’s literally become a stage. 😀 Everyone wants to look perfect, and in this developing world, I don’t think there is actually anything wrong with that 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. This was so well articulated and I agree with everything you said. I found the point about writing particularly interesting, I think it’s associated with women because in the past men were those going off to work, manual labour, and anyone who wrote literature, was probably rich and disliked (a few exceptions)

    Even when people say they’re not sexist, they’re constantly judging people subconsciously. You’re right, the term ‘tomboy’ is unhealthy, it’s almost as if people who don’t comply with the strict standards of society are outcasts and placed into these offensive categories. They are more man than woman, by simply wearing a pair of jeans. When really, they’re an example of the modem woman, who can never really be defined because they are part of such a diverse group.

    Anyway, I’ll shush now because I could go on forever. Fantastic post L! X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely agree with you here. The writing one is an interesting point, because these subconscious judgements are no longer relevant today. Thank you 🙂 X

      Liked by 1 person

  5. To put my thoughts simply: YASSSSSSS L!!!!!!!! This is honestly such a great post and something that I feel does really need to be discussed! Just from the title I could tell it was going to be a good post! Honestly, I love how you’re all for equality and that; gender roles SUCK!

    Also, do you mind if I share this on The Feministas Twitter? I think it’s just such a great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That was honestly one of the most fantastic posts I’ve ever read.
    You’re right – it doesn’t hurt anyone if you wear heels, or makeup. I think the whole tomboy aspect came about because girls traditionally wear makeup and don’t do boyish things – but times have changed. People should do what they want to do, without judgement or being labelled as something they’re not. But unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that; people. will always be judged. It’s just a case of caring – or not caring – that matters.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This bugs me too, and whenever I say something like “clothes are just clothes, colours are just colours, there is no ‘male’ style, there is no ‘feminine’ dress code” I get backlashed so hard, I’m glad you think that way, hopefully it will change in our lifetimes!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Props to you! Also…. heels were invented for men, did you know that? I actually wrote a short story for my English class about a boy who wanted to wear dresses and stuff. My teacher gave me the equivalent of an A* but she asked me if he was gay/transgender and I said um, no. There was a hint of romantic feelings towards females in the story and at no point was my character identifying as female. I purposely made him the typical strong kind of guy: my statement being that dresses etc. aren’t just for girls and it doesn’t make a guy girly to wear them.
    I had a guy in my class ask me what I was writing about and when I told them they were like ‘why on earth would you write about that? what kind of guy would want to wear a dress?’. I just looked at them, rolled my eyes and walked away xD

    Liked by 1 person

    1. People are so stuck with the stereotypes, something slightly out of the apparently ordinary is immediately assessed to be wrong. Well done you for writing that: it sounds awesome 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you! I did actually post it on my blog 😀 And to be fair to him, the thought had probably never crossed his mind… he’s very…um…. how would you say? ‘typically’ male?

        Liked by 1 person

  9. This is all so true and yes, frustrating- you have the the right to be frustrated about this stuff. Its really narrow minded to stereotype stuff on the basis of gender. In today’s generation, gender is no bar to doing anything new and yet, there are those few who divide in terms of gender. If we all stand up against gender roles, then I’m sure that ones sex won’t determine what they want to wear or accomplish in life.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hey L, another great post from you.
    But just want to say that makeup is not that much of a big issue as it used to be. After all, there are many big brands who are designing and supplying makeup products aimed for guys.
    Also not sure why your blogging got you labled as a girl, as it was females in the past who had to hide their identity whilst writing. For example, Charlotte Bronte, famous english novelist and author of Jane Eyre.

    Ps. you got a few typos towards the end of your post. x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree that things have got better as years of gone on. But things aren’t perfect. There maybe products aimed at boys and men, but it doesn’t mean that they are excepted. Thank you 🙂

      Like

  11. It honestly is frustrating that society has to judge the things people do based on gender stereotypes. Wearing makeup and wearing heals shouldn’t be limited to girls, and wearing jeans and a t-shirt shouldn’t be limited to boys.
    As for being called girly for blogging and listening to certain artists, these people who judge you like that aren’t very open-minded. You should be able to like what you like and do what you do without being put in a certain group because of the stereotypes society set up.

    Liked by 1 person

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