Ah, yes, a new series… Let excitement rein among us. that literally makes no sense, but hey… We’ll go with it anyway, because it sounds cool.
How to Human 101 With L
This title is, in my humble opinion, an excellent one, and I’m perfectly within my rights to say that as I didn’t actually come up with it. I can only thank
for coming up with this title in a comment on one of my recent posts which I shall not name, for the story it tells is horrific and awkward.
Maybe – just maybe – it’d help if I explained what the hell this series is about. Your wish is my command, presuming your wish is to have me explain what the hell this series is about.
In these posts, I will be tackling a subject, or an area of 21st century life, and putting my own spin on it. Basically, life tutorials, but with an added dose of L – what more could you ask for?
Today, we are tackling the subject of Internet, and how to, well, do it [don’t think like that, you dirty minded human]. So, without further ado, let’s kick off with my Top Tips to the Internet [try saying that when you’re drunk].
L’s Top Tips to the Internet
1. don’t act cool
It doesn’t take much browsing through Twitter to find a status [who even uses that word any more?] with a “LOL”, “JK” or the lesser used “ROFL” attached to the end. When I was younger [about 3 years ago], the ‘thing’ to use was “jokes” at the end of a OBVIOUSLY insincere post. Generally, it was used to indicate that something that is REALLY not funny was designed to be laughed at. This was supposedly cool. It really wasn’t.
2. Don’t trust
Sure, we get told over and over again that we mustn’t trust strangers on the internet. what we don’t get told, however, is that we shouldn’t trust Google Maps, either. Unfortunately, I only realised this harsh piece of reality when I was stood with my tandem bike pilot and my tanem bike in the middle of a country track, surrounded by cows and with absolutely no signal or Internet. Google Maps had informed us that there was a Tesco Express just around the corner, but unless the cows had eaten the poor building, I think they may have been telling me lies. don’t trust the internet.
3. Don’t think that the Internet likes you
We’ve all said it, at one point or another in our lives: “the world hates me”. Well, FYI [using a bit o’ Internet slang there], the Worldwide web doesn’t like you either – surprise! Yeah, remember all those times that your wiFi broke, or yo got logged out of Twitter for no reason, or you died in some ‘cool’ video game because your computer locked up? They’re all evidence of the fact that the Internet doesn’t like you either. Deal with it.
Let us move on, shall we. Let’s talk about safe websites
So, let’s imagine you searched on goggle for “Life of Blind” [as what else could you possibly want on the Internet?]
The following results are displayed:
A. “Blind man needs your credit card to transfer $1000,000 into your bank account!”
B. “Consider Yourself Warned… Netflix + Chill = Lost Password + Frustration”
C. “Blind people are more likely to have a Guide dog than sighted people, report finds.”
Of course, A is the spam link, because it’s in the wrong currency for my country, the UK. Additionally, how would a blind man be able to read my credit care number?
So, that’s all for How to Human this week, although I’ve just noticed that HTH [How to Human] is also the three letters which are used in place of Hope This Helped, so HTH