Dear Parents: Please stop Arguing

Dear Parents:

please stop arguing. please stop the shouting that I come home to each and every night. please stop the bitter comments, the childish remarks, the unnecessary hate.

How do you think it feels, to come home every night to somewhere that can no longer feel like home? to arrive at the front door, the sounds of raised voices already audible through the walls? to come back to somewhere full of hate, and fear, and sadness?

Can’t we just take times back to how they were? Can’t we just pretend that things are OK, like in the family photos? Can’t we just ignore that there are problems, at least until my sister and I have completed our educations are out of the house?

Why bring me into it? Why am I suddenly a poisonus weapon that you can use to silence one another? Why is it that once my name is mentioned, there’s a deadly hush?

How is it fair? How is it fair that the only escape I get are the few quiet hours at night, when the house is asleep but i’m lying awake, worrying, scared, frightened? How is it fair that I live in a house which is just that: a house, not a home?

Have you really not realised why I go out so much? Have you not figured out why I sign up to every afterschool club I can, every school trip, every residential break? Or why I go to see friends who live so far away that I have to stay at least one night? or why I travel so much by train, to stay out of the family car trips?

It’s to escape.

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60 thoughts on “Dear Parents: Please stop Arguing

  1. L, I’m reading this, and it’s like you’ve written down my thoughts onto this post. It’s so very sad to see others going through the same things I go through. I know how it feels, I understand. Usually, I would offer some solace, but this time, I can’t because I relate just a little too much. But please stay strong through whatever this is. It’s hard to ignore the screaming all the time, I know, but hopefully one day, it will cease to exist.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry. I know exactly how it feels, and it’s awful, I just wanted to stop and it never does. If you ever need someone to talk to about it, I’m here, always…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I want it to stop too. Gosh, I want it so bad. But it’s up to them, I’ve given up now.
        And thank you, you know that the offer is always open from my side as well.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I understand completely how you feel, I go through this as well and I am so surprised and upset that i’ve met so many people who go through the same thing. Sometimes I wish I could trade my life with any one else just to get away from the yelling, the noise and the constant fighting.
    If you ever want to talk just send me an email 🙂 JagsOnline6@gmail.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much; it surprises me too, how many families are like this. I thought marriages, even relationships, were meant to result in happiness. But how could anyone be happy fighting night after night? Some nights, I sneak out into the garden, because it’s too much to bare. The arguing is too loud; the silence is too quiet. And outside, there’s room. Room to run, run away to somewhere out there…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know, i always think that if I was in a relationship like that I would have ended it long ago. And it’s unfair that they bring us into it, we did nothing wrong but we have to deal with the fighting everyday.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This. Like Selfie said, you’ve written down all my thoughts. My situation is a bit tougher than yours, after all my parents are divorced and their fighting still pains me. But this is about you. I know exactly what you’re going through, and that’s what I do as well – escape from that reality. Music and reading are good remedies too. Stay strong, L. One day you’ll confront your parents about this. I think that’s the best solution. But for now, just keep swimming. It’ll all stop one day. God I wish I could offer more help but this hits too close to my life.
    You can get through this. We’ll get through this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Reading and music are excellent escapes. Reading definitely – it’s so good to escape somewhere, where your own problems don’t exist. I’ve said that to people before, but they’ve never really understood what I really meant, although I couldn’t really have expected them to. I’ve tried speaking to them, but they just think I’m being silly, over dramatic. I’m sorry to hear of your experience, but you’re right: together, we’ll get through it. Thank you for even just wanting to help; that in itself is more than I could ever ask for.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly – that’s why I love reading. It’s like you’re transformed into this different world, like you’re inserted into this world, and your own reality and everything along with it ceases to exist. I understand what you mean, and it’s definitely not silly or over dramatic.
        It’s alright, don’t be sorry. And you’re welcome – I’ll always try to help in any way I can.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh wait a minute – I’ve mixed up your sentences. *I understand what you mean about reading being an escape. And god – silly and over dramatic? Standing up for yourself and speaking out is anything but over dramatic. Maybe you should try getting an outside member to contribute? Get someone else to make your parents listen to what you want to say. I mean, if you want to… I know it’s really hard. Just know that you are incredibly brave to have already spoken out to your parents about this, even if they won’t agree.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Haha that’s OK. Yeah, maybe getting someone else would be good, but there are very few family members who I actually get on with, or who get on with me. And outside of the family – I don’t even know how to start with

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Argh that’s difficult – you might not like this, but… maybe a counsellor or…? Yeah, I’m not so sure either. If it’s really bad then that’s what I suggest. Or a teacher of yours.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I am sorry that you have to deal with that kind on environment. Usually when you go home, you wanna go to a problem free place where you can deal with the outside baggage. But you know what? Tell them. Claim your right to silence and calmness, try to show them how it much it hurts and bother you! Don’t be the collateral damage, please! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course you’re not! I don’t know really… Just put your headphones on and find a place to drift away… As poetic as it may sound, I mean it. Find yourself a comforting ambiance and just dettach yourself

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I am sorry. I can imagine how it feels. I hate it when my parents fight and they do not do it quite often. Sometimes it is the best thing to write down how you feel to get everything off your chest. I hope things will get better fir you

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s just what I do from experience, my sister and mother scream at each other every day so I stopped caring. I might act like I care, and I have to keep up a certain aura of “caring” because I was always the one who “cared,” and if I just stopped caring they would wonder what’s wrong. But I really don’t care.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m sorry about your parents. It’s really sad to think about it, you’d think that they’d be happy together. My parents fight a lot as well, but probably not as much as yours. I can only imagine how it feels.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I grew up with my parents fighting as well, and the one thing I wish I knew to do when I was younger was tell them how I felt about all of this. I know that it is their fight, not yours, but when they bring you into it then it becomes your problem and you should tell them how that makes you feel. I hope it all gets better soon. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh. :/ You’re not being stupid, at all. They’re your parents, so it is natural to feel this upset when they fight; it isn’t stupid or dumb to feel this way. I’m sorry they think that, I hope they realize that they are wrong and your feelings are valid. I hope it gets better soon, sending love and support your way. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow, I’m sorry that this is happening to you (and sorry that I’m responding almost a week late). I’m also sorry I can’t help you much nor can I give advice, but I will give you my support, and I wish you the best in life and a flourishing relationship with your family. Hopefully all the arguments die down. Everyone argues once in a while, perhaps this is just one of those times that will go away before you know it. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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