It’s early here – 04:17 as I write this, and I haven’t quite got around to sleeping yet. I’m currently watching Mrs brown’s Boys [if you don’t know it, and like british humour, you should look it up], chewing mint chewing gum and looking after a rather depressed cat. She’s had her flee treatment [just a spray], and is feeling rather sorry for herself, so I gave her a mint.
she’s a cat; of course I didn’t!
Or did I…
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way”
When I was in hospital as a young child, and even to the present day when I have operations and hospital trips, my mum likes to remind me of this expression. I’m not always in my best, optimistic mood when in or around hospital, and I know it’s clear to see. I put on a brave face, because I know it hurts my mum to see me like that, and I know she goes out of her way to try and make the best of a bad situation. I should probably give some background on the hospital front. It’s probably going to look a bit disjointed; I find it hard to talk about this, because its ongoing.
When I was a baby, I had eye cancer and consequently had my left eye removed. At the age of six, due to a return of the cancer, I had my right eye removed. To this day, I’ve had operation after operation, due to problems with my eye socket [it’s not that gory to be honest]. My last operation was meant to be in 2011, and then 2012, and then 2013… You get the picture. My most recent operation was in July of 2015, and I’m currently having new artificial eyes molded again. I know that I will have to have at least one more operation, and that’s if things go smoothly now.
The hospital I have to go to is in a city in England called Birmingham. It’s an hour and a half train journey for me from home in London. That’s always a hard train journey, because both my mum and me are on edge, nervous but trying to pretend it’s OK for the other’s benefit. And that’s when she’ll remind me that where there’s a will, there’s a way.
I suppose she’s right. Anyone who wants something enough can achieve it, because they have that passion. I used to wonder why she reminded me of that when going to hospital. My only desire was to stay on that train whilst it turned around, and to be sped back to London, back to home. As I got older, however, I guess the meaning sunk in. My desire, aside from going home, was to stay strong, and to keep my spirits high. The way to achieve that is to forget the negativity, and keep a smile on my face. I think, in a roundabout way, she was trying to tell me that, with an upbeat attitude, things would get better, and things would BE better whilst my situation was, and still is, far from brilliant.
For my 14th birthday, just a few days ago, my mum bought me a bracelet. It’s made of leather straps, all intertwined with one another, farcened at the bottom with an intricately designed clasp. On the top of the bracelet is a rectangular metal plate, engraved on which is the following:
“Where there’s a will there’s a way”.
It may not have been the most expensive present someone’s ever bought me, or the most glamourous, although I do like it very much. It’s the most thoughtful and meaningful though and as it sits upon my wrist, it reminds me who I am. That sounds cheesy I know, but it brings back everything to do with who I am, where I’ve come from and all the memories my mum and I have shared. We have our fair share of fallouts and disagreements, but through it all, we’ve got that all important parent/child relationship, and I suppose that’s what’s important in the end.
Perhaps you think i’m being emotional and stupid, but just think: I’m sure you have one phrase, or item that you treasure more than anything else. If you feel comfortable doing so, I’d love for you to tell me what it is. Of course, I understand that some of your phrases/items are going to be very personal, and if you don’t want to tell me about them, I understand why. And if you do, I’ll respect that decision.