How are you? I’m OK, although it’s approaching 03:45, and I’ve got to get up at 04:30, to travel to a long-distance hospital appointment.
I wanted to write about different friends, particularly relating to me. This post may seem a little depressing, but it shouldn’t require a trigger warning.
As you know, if you follow this blog and check it regularly, I have depression. No, it’s not medically recognised with me, but I think the signs are clear. At the very least I’m emotionally unstable and insecure. This was particularly apparent in August this year.
Due to the sport I play, I was staying in a hotel, along with a lot of other players of this sport in August 2015. We shared rooms, for cost reasons, and I ended up sharing with a late-teen-year-old boy. I didn’t know him – only by name -, and so I’d never spoken to him. That night was just a bad one for me; he walked in to find me in tears, face down on my bed, just shaking. I guess he was worried, or concerned, or anxious about me, which is beyond what I’d ever expect from a practical stranger. He asked if I wanted to talk. I accepted. I don’t know why, or even how, but I found myself telling him absolutely everything: what was wrong with me, when it started, what I had done. I finished, and then panicked, because I had no idea how he’d react. Would he tell the welfare officer, who happened to be with the group of us in the hotel? Would he spread rumours? Would he mock me?
No. He didn’t do any of those things. The first thing he did was literally just say ‘Don’t worry; you’re not alone’. It seems like nothing on paper, but that was the best thing anyone could have said to me. He told me about himself, and I found that we were all too similar in the depression department. It was great to talk to someone who understood, and could relate, and could offer advice from the perspective of someone who had gone through what I was experiencing. That evening was one of the best evenings I’ve had.
Just tonight, I texted someone I know. I met them when I was 8 on ‘Blindie camp’, but never really stayed in touch; I suppose at that age, things are different. I had his number – I think through Facebook -, and a couple of months ago, we started texting. somehow he remembered me – I was genuinely shocked! We don’t know each other REALLY well, but hey, I knew him as an 11 year old [he’s 3 years older than me]; what more could I ask for? Regardless, although I don’t know him as well as others, I decided to show him this blog tonight. I trusted him; I just kind of knew that he wouldn’t spread things around, although I know that he knows people that I know, and so has that power should he so desire. I can’t believe how not-freaked out he was; he was so supportive, and willing to help. I was literally crying, because I just couldn’t believe that someone had taken this as it is, and not freaked out, classified me an attention seeker or hated me for things I can’t control.
This person knows who they are, and if you’re reading this, I can’t ever say thank you enough. You probably don’t think what you’ve done tonight is much; you’re so unbelievably wrong. You’ve shown that there are true people out there, and that you understand, and don’t hate me. I trusted you, almost on an impulse; I’m glad I did. That probably seems extremely dramatic, but I don’t mean it to be; I just need you to know what a difference you have made.
These two stories, about two different people, just compare how two completely different friends can help me so much, and can be so supportive. They’ve both taught me that support is there, and that true friends will offer it as second nature. They may not know me well at all, but they’ve shown that, to a point, they give a shit, and I can’t thank them enough just for that.
Do you have friends like these? Maybe they’ve got you through hard times…