anxious

Hey Guys:

How are you? 13 days to go, 13 days to Christmas… I’m excited, Don’t judge Me!

I want to write about anxiety. Hoepfully I’ve worded this in a way that shouldn’t trigger anything, but if it does, I understand if you choose to stop reading this. I am not medically recognised as having anxiety. However, I would say that I do, but I’d rather not have that proven, for fear of my family finding out.

I often get worried and overly stressed about things, whether that be school, homework, friends or family… you get the picture. I get stressed, and it’s noticeable, because I stop talking, I begin to shake and I stay absolutely still. Looking back, I always realise that i’m being daft and stupid about things, but at the time I just can’t help it, because everything is so real and in the present.

I think it all started when I started having to go to hospitals frequently [once or twice a week] because of cancer in my eye. I was about 5, and I was having operations twice or thrice a month. Of course, that made me stressed and anxious, but it seems very different when you get to be a teenager. being 5, 6 or 7, stress and anxiety aren’t at thre front of your mind, and they affect you in different ways. Since then, I’ve think I’ve just grown up anxious, stressed and worried.

Even now, I’m silencing voices in my head that are telling me that you won’t like this post, or you’ll laugh at me because of it, or you’ll stop reading, or tell someone I know, or what if you are someone I know? I’m shutting those voices off, because I need to get this down, despite my shaking hands and overthinking mind. It probably seems very attention seeking, me writing this. I want to write it because I promised myself and you guys that I’d write everything here, and this is a part of me. It always will be. And so i’m writing it.

Do you guys have anything like this? Is it just me?

L XX

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13 thoughts on “anxious

  1. I’m the same. I always worry about insignificant things. What if no one actually reads my posts? What if my schoolwork isn’t good enough? What if I can’t successfully find a job? What if high school becomes too much for me?
    By the way, commented. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know you have it a lot worse than me, and my heart goes out for you. But I respect everything you do, every word you write and every element of mental health that you represent and spread awareness of. I’m so proud of you, in a I’m-not-a-creep kind of way

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Having panic attacks is totally normal. It’s not something “abnormal” which sets you apart from all the “normal” people. Anxiety is just another disorder and shouldn’t be treated as something which is “not right”. You don’t worry. Just keep silencing those voices in your head and come out strong:)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 13 days to Christmas! Yay! It is perfectly alright for you to put this down on paper (screen). You’re simply acknowledging that it exists. If you never talk about something as important to you as this, it will continue to seem dark and mysterious and unbeatable. But if you talk about it, it becomes plain as day, and you realize that you’re not alone and there are people that can help you! This doesn’t make you different in a bad way. It just makes you you. Also, a blog I think you might like (maybe you’ve seen it already) is justelm.wordpress.com (I think that’s the link…) Elm goes through a lot of struggles, but she is essentially working out her life, and she’s an amazing person. 🙂 I hope I haven’t freaked you out or anything… Happy Hanukkah!
    -Amy

    Like

  4. I think we’re at the age where pretty much all of us has anxiety. Yesterday I was so depressed that I couldn’t get out of bed and I just had this weird feeling in my heart that wouldn’t go away and I couldn’t focus on anything and the worse part was not knowing why I was depressed in the first place.

    Liked by 1 person

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