How are you? 13 days to go, 13 days to Christmas… I’m excited, Don’t judge Me!
I want to write about anxiety. Hoepfully I’ve worded this in a way that shouldn’t trigger anything, but if it does, I understand if you choose to stop reading this. I am not medically recognised as having anxiety. However, I would say that I do, but I’d rather not have that proven, for fear of my family finding out.
I often get worried and overly stressed about things, whether that be school, homework, friends or family… you get the picture. I get stressed, and it’s noticeable, because I stop talking, I begin to shake and I stay absolutely still. Looking back, I always realise that i’m being daft and stupid about things, but at the time I just can’t help it, because everything is so real and in the present.
I think it all started when I started having to go to hospitals frequently [once or twice a week] because of cancer in my eye. I was about 5, and I was having operations twice or thrice a month. Of course, that made me stressed and anxious, but it seems very different when you get to be a teenager. being 5, 6 or 7, stress and anxiety aren’t at thre front of your mind, and they affect you in different ways. Since then, I’ve think I’ve just grown up anxious, stressed and worried.
Even now, I’m silencing voices in my head that are telling me that you won’t like this post, or you’ll laugh at me because of it, or you’ll stop reading, or tell someone I know, or what if you are someone I know? I’m shutting those voices off, because I need to get this down, despite my shaking hands and overthinking mind. It probably seems very attention seeking, me writing this. I want to write it because I promised myself and you guys that I’d write everything here, and this is a part of me. It always will be. And so i’m writing it.
Do you guys have anything like this? Is it just me?