Is it normal 

Is it normal?Is it normal, before a day of school, to feel this tightness in my tummy? This nervousness, this fear? To me, it’s not all that uncommon; if anything, it’s a regular occurrence. I feel it 2-3 times a week, sometimes more, rarely LEDs. I’m frightened because I’m worried. And I’m worried, for so many reasons.
I’m scared of losing friends, because I’m too quiet, inwardly thinking. I’m worried that the level of friendship I’ve developed with a few people will suddenly fall away from me. I’m worried that all of a sudden, I’ll forget everything I know in lessons, and become the idiot that everybody acknowledges but ignores, who gets bullied for being thick. I’m scared of getting bullied, which is why I hide away in my own head, but there I’m bullied by my own thoughts and feelings.
This is probably anxiety, and will lead to a panic attack. They’re fairly common for me, but I’m too ashamed to say it outright to someone. Maybe it’s time I did, but the thought sends my head into a frantic frenzy and my stomach into a butterfly playground.
I’m sorry. I just had to put this down; I hope you understand.
L XX

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11 thoughts on “Is it normal 

  1. Honestly, I feel like this every single day before going to school. Went back today for the first time since ‘The Incident’ last week and felt sick all day, it was horrible. Anxiety sucks 😦 I hate going to school because I hate people seeing me have panic attacks and me feeling worthless. Anyway, you’re not alone, I know what you’re going through. And trust me, you won’t lose friends – you’re amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. It is great to know that someone else feels the same way. It sucks I know. What’s horrible is that, now for example, it all seems so irrational. But tomorrow, at 05:00, 06:00, 07:00, 07:30, 07:45, 08:00, 08:30, it’ll all be so real again, and I’ll be a prisoner inside my own head again. It’s so relieving to know that I’m not aboard a one-man ship here. Thank you. L XX

      Liked by 1 person

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