How are you? Happy Halloween! I hope you’re enjoying your day, however you’re spending it, spookily or not spookily. I’m not going to lie: I’m not a fan of Halloween myself; I’m a wimp at heart, and react to the slightest scary thing in a completely disproportionate manner. I’m not going to a Halloween party as such; just a small do with some family friends and a family friend’s pub.
I don’t really want to talk about Halloween though; it’s being talked about enough by everyone else! I want to talk about family. Specifically, distant family…
Both of my grandads are dead. What a paragraph opener! I have two grandmas, and only one of them stays in touch. The one that stays in touch doesn’t visit often; I last saw her five or six years ago; no one can really remember. I’ve never had a good relationship with my grandparents. A mix of distance and, bluntly, a lack of interest on their part drove us apart. My nan (the one that stays in touch) doesn’t respect my sister and I; we are too much like my mum (her daughter-in-law), whom she doesn’t particularly like. I think it’s because she thinks that our mum isn’t of an upper-class family, and therefore just can’t be good enough for our dad (her son). Personally, I also think she doesn’t like me as a grandchild because I’m not a typical child; I’m blind, and with a nickname of Blindie Rebel, I think that her point (in her view) is indisputable. I think that, as the years went on and she continued to not put the effort in with my sister and me, we both began to not want her in our lives. When she does grace us with her presence (usually by phone), she asks minimal questions, and still treats us as she did when we were ten years younger. However, although I feel frustrated towards her, I can’t help but feel disappointed that I never had the grandparent-grandchild bond that every young person is entitled to. I know that having that bond with someone who doesn’t want it is useless, and is unlikely to result in a happy family relationship, but I almost feel like I’ve been cheated out of a grandparent.
This nan and her husband split, and my grandad was with another woman when he died. His partner has treated my sister and me as her own grandchildren, and has been more interested in what we’re up to than my nan ever has been, and likely ever will be. We don’t see her often; distance is hard to shorten. She stays in touch through Facebook, and by phone and text, and likes to know what we’re doing with our lives. I’ve known her for less time than my biological grandparents, but already treat her with more respect that I am able or willing to show towards my biological grandparents.
My nan was in the area last night and this morning, and asked us to go and have breakfast with her at her hotel, before she left for home this morning. I wasn’t overly keen, to be honest, but I felt it was only fair; maybe after all these years, she wanted to try and start to bond with us. I’m not going to go into detail about the meal – I feel that wouldn’t be interesting enough -, but I’ll say that I don’t think my hopes were to come true; she acted as she always does.
So, the question I guess I’m asking is: Is it wrong to give up on your grandparents, if they’ve given up on you?
I’m sorry for the slightly depressing subject matter today, but again, I wanted to get it down, and to share it with you guys. What do you think?
See you later: